Confusion

Lately, I've been feeling super confused and just, I don't know.. It's kinda hard knowing what people are wanting from you. What people need or what they are trying to understand in life. Yesterday, I called Z, but he didn't answer my call, so I left him a message telling him that I should have expected him not to pick up, so he should please read the text I was going to send him. And this is what I wrote to him:

"This isn't working out. For you or me. Honestly, I'm sorry what you're going through, but I can't sit around and wait for when you are ok. I did that once before for someone else. It ended up being a disaster and the guy never wanted to talk to me ever again. I don't want this happening a second time. I don't want hard feelings between us, so I'm gonna end this quickly before it begins. You're an awesome person, but I need to move on and live my life."

I feel like I was mean, maybe, but it's the right thing I did. He never replied back. I wonder if he will. Probably not. He doesn't communicate very well. I really did like him, but this kind of thing just isn't for me. I'm gonna try not to waste tears on this, but I can't always help it :/

On the up side, I might get a job really soon and I'm going to register for one college class so that I have something to do instead of feeling like I've had an empty day. It will also keep me from thinking so much about the depressing stuff and the class I'm going to take is writing, so that will help me get better at that. I'm already pretty good with writing ... (I think :D) but I do need to get better in some areas.

Vintage - Eva