Mr. Sandman

I keep seeing the ad for the show Bates Motel. And I have the song, Mr. Sandman stuck in my head because it's sung in the ad.

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest that I've ever seen (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give him two lips like roses and clover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.
Sandman, I'm so alone
Don't have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.


Have you guys seen the show? It looks really interested and I might just start watching it. Hopefully, it'll be good and not too dramatic or anything like that. I love crime shows - anything with fast cars, motorcycles and guns or cops is always my thing. So if you have seen crime shows and you might think I'd like them, let me know, because I most likely would!!


On the 3rd of March, I'm going to sign up for WRT 115. My mom said it would probably be best for me to take WRT 115 instead of 121 so that I can get better at it. I'm also going to try to take a photography class. I absolutely love photography. It's so awesome!! :D

Well, I've got nothing else to tell you guys, except that I'm doing a whole lot better that a few days ago.

Mr. Sandman

I like this version better - she's a really good singer!

Sick!!

I've been sick in bed these past couple days, so I didn't want to write. But I'm getting better, so I'm glad for that! That also means that I will be writing more.

A few days ago, I went to my community college and took the writing placement test so that I could register for Writing 121 class. And let me tell you, in 2011, I got a better score than a few days ago. In 2011 I got a score of 87 which placed me into Writing 121. A few days ago I got a score of 60, which would place me into Writing 115. I was not happy about it. I need to take WRT 121, not 115. So, now I have to study for the test and retake it. Hopefully, I'll get a better score the second time.

I don't have much to write about today. Not much has happened lately, since I've been sick. Ugh I hate being sick... Anyways! I'm gonna sign off for now :) Enjoy the rest of  your day!

Greyson Chance Waiting Outside the Lines

Bandon!!

As many of you know, I went to the beach this last weekend. Let me tell you right now that it was the MOST awesome day I had had in a LONG time. The time spent at the beach and with my room mate's sister and brother in law were very relaxing. The time spent walking around the small town of Bandon was very relaxing. The time spent just sitting down and watching the sun go down was very relaxing. 

Frankly, I'm surprised that I hadn't gone to the beach much, much sooner. But of course, sometimes... no, most of the time, money is a big problem for me. Meaning, I can't just get up and go whenever I please, because I have no current job, and the job I do have doesn't pay nearly enough to cover rent, food, gas, and other things I need. So going to the beach by myself is completely out of the question. 

The day at Bandon was the most beautiful day there in a long time and I am so glad that my room mate and I went there. In case you are wondering, yes, my room mate and I are dating :) He's the most awesome guy ever. Sweet, funny, and very caring and kind. 

He absolutely hates his picture being taken, so this is probably the best you'll see of him. But I do sneak pictures of him quite often, so you might get to see him without sunglasses! 

The most beautiful sunset I have ever seen is at the ocean.

There were lots of seagulls, and I kept telling them to stay still so that I could take a picture

Waves crashing against the jetty

We went down to the lighthouse and walked on the jetty. The jetty is falling apart little by little, but it's still very fun to walk on. If you go on a jetty, make sure you bring good walking shoes, because the rocks are very painful to walk on.

Does this even need a caption? 

I have lots more pictures, but I believe that this is all I'm going to share with you. Enjoy!!

Beach!

Yesterday was an extremely exhausting day. I cleaned my mom's house and then I went to my oldest sister's house and helped her out - cooked dinner, folded laundry and took care of the elderly people. She had her wisdom teeth out so needed help while her husband went grocery shopping.

I also went out to lunch with my girl friend - we had sushi. It had been a while since we'd gone out to our sushi place.

Today is going to be a super awesome day! My room mate and I are going to go to the beach. I told him last night that I wanted to go to the beach and he said we should go. It's been a while since I've been to the coast and I just absolutely love water. Weather it be the river, a lake or the ocean.

I don't have much else to talk about. This week has been pretty long and tiring and I guess it caught up with me last night because I was so tired I broke down. My room mate comforted me and I went to bed early.

Well, I will let you guys know how the time at the beach goes! I will post pictures :)

Confusion

Lately, I've been feeling super confused and just, I don't know.. It's kinda hard knowing what people are wanting from you. What people need or what they are trying to understand in life. Yesterday, I called Z, but he didn't answer my call, so I left him a message telling him that I should have expected him not to pick up, so he should please read the text I was going to send him. And this is what I wrote to him:

"This isn't working out. For you or me. Honestly, I'm sorry what you're going through, but I can't sit around and wait for when you are ok. I did that once before for someone else. It ended up being a disaster and the guy never wanted to talk to me ever again. I don't want this happening a second time. I don't want hard feelings between us, so I'm gonna end this quickly before it begins. You're an awesome person, but I need to move on and live my life."

I feel like I was mean, maybe, but it's the right thing I did. He never replied back. I wonder if he will. Probably not. He doesn't communicate very well. I really did like him, but this kind of thing just isn't for me. I'm gonna try not to waste tears on this, but I can't always help it :/

On the up side, I might get a job really soon and I'm going to register for one college class so that I have something to do instead of feeling like I've had an empty day. It will also keep me from thinking so much about the depressing stuff and the class I'm going to take is writing, so that will help me get better at that. I'm already pretty good with writing ... (I think :D) but I do need to get better in some areas.

Vintage - Eva

World Hunger

World hunger is a problem. Too many children are going without food. They are starving and even dying from lack of food. I, myself, have experienced hunger. My younger sister and I. We had a rough childhood and know what it is like to be starving days at a time before there was just a little bit of food. However, this is not about me, but about the present children who are going hungry each day while we are throwing out half bad foods that could still be cooked into something delicious. Why do we do this? It's not right throwing out food that we don't like, while there are children out there who would give you everything they own just to take a few bites.

Because of this, one of my friends has decided to participate in a 30 hour famine. She is about my younger sister's age and this is a good deed that she is doing. However, she needs a little bit of help. There is a link, called World Vision's 30 Hour Famine. There you can help by donating whatever amount of money you choose to donate to help feed starving children. I'm sharing the link with you and ask you to look at it, and if you chose to, help those in need.

Thanks, guys! You're the best :)

Release the Feast for Children in Need 

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day to you all!! I hope you all had an amazing day :) I did. My room mate got me Valentine's Day gifts and it was the sweetest thing he did for me. He's a great friend and an awesome room mate. Chocolates and a cute mailbox with a monkey inside it. I really like it - it made my day :)

Tell me about your Valentine's Day! What did you do and what did you get?

Lately, I haven't been writing much. Once again. I gotta stop doing this - skipping days. I guess I just haven't really been myself. Staying up too late, or going to bed early and waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake for a couple hours and going back to sleep.

*Sign* I wish I wasn't such a night owl and would go to bed at regular times. Or if only I was a morning person. Would make it easier to get up to go to my sister's and work each morning. I can't help any of that, so I get what I get.

I feel so bad, I've been kinda ignoring my little bro, although I'm not doing it intentionally. I've been kinda ignoring everyone. Just wanted to be left alone with my thoughts and feelings and didn't want to talk to anyone. My little bro feels like I've been ignoring him on purpose. But no, I wouldn't do that to you, hun. I'm sorry. If you're reading this, I didn't ignore you on purpose. You're a sweet, an awesome and a funny person. I love you, K.P!

Well, I don't have much else to say. I shall bid you all adieu and a farewell until next time!

Tongue Tied - Faber Drive

Competitions

So, yesterday, my room mate and I decided to compete. I signed up on the app POF and I told him that I would bet that I'd get more guys talking to me than girls talking to him. I believe I've won the bet - because my phone was blowing up.

Oh yeah, the last time I talked about my room mate, he was drunk and mad at me. No more. He actually apologised for being (my words) an asshole. Sorry for the language. I know not many people appreciate this kind of language, but sometimes there are no better words to describe some people.

Anyways, he is taking me ice skating on Saturday (that wasn't the bet, in fact I don't remember what the "price" is for winning the bet.) He's never gone ice skating and neither have I, and it sounds so fun. I hope I don't fall and break something!

Yesterday, I made baklava. It was soooo delicious, and almost gone. Everyone of my room mates loved it and so did my family and my girl friend. Well, I loved it! I'm going to try and make it more often. It's pretty easy and the results are delicious. I'll post a pic so you guys can drool over it :D

I haven't heard from Z in a while, but I'm also not stressing over it. So I guess that's good, right? I mean about not stressing. I can't handle stress. It makes me not feel good. Like I found out for the first time that one morning. Ok, I won't talk about it.

Today, I saw my two gorgeous and most adorable nephews. I wish I could post pics of them on here, but it isn't the best idea, because there are people out there who, well, I'm not gonna go into details, but I think you know what I mean. But take my word for it, when I say that my nephews are the most adorable boys EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!

Ok, ok, don't be jealous now. Teehee

I'm gonna post something too precious. This is my childhood cartoon. I love this song/cartoon. It's Russian, so you won't understand it, but the jist of it is that the little baby mammoth is looking for his mother. And he has a little help along the way. He finally finds his mommy, not a mammoth mommy, but an elephant mommy.

Мама для мамонтенка

Hope Is Somewhere Here

I'm sorry I haven't written in a few days. I've been dealing with stuff and haven't been feeling myself and didn't want to write. I got so upset the other day, after I wrote the previous post Crying that when a police officer knocked on the door the next morning, I nearly passed out. He had to call an ambulance and the paramedics checked me out. I had low blood pressure and a high pulse rate. The police officer was looking for someone else, but I was the one who answered the door. It was the weirdest feeling. When I opened the door everything started going dark for like 2-3 minutes and I couldn't see anything and could barely talk.

I don't know why it happened - but I think I was too upset, dehydrated and hadn't eaten anything for a few days. The paramedics were gonna take me to the hospital, but I refused because it would cost so much and I have no income. My landlord called my dad and he talked to me. Everyone in the house was worried about me. I guess for a good reason.

Also, one of my room mates was drunk last night and got angry at me for being "dishonest" even though I was telling him the truth. Kicked me out of his room and wouldn't let me in this morning. He made me cry and his friend came down and calmed me down and stayed with me.

So many things going on lately, I feel so small and helpless. But I have to believe that everything will turn out good. It has to, right? We are who we are and we get stronger through rough patches in life. I'm not exactly going through a rough patch, per say, but it has been very hard dealing with people lately.

Well, i'm signing off. Thank you to you guys who read my blog and comment. Means more than you'll ever know :)

Is There Anybody Out There

Crying

"Is this the way everything going to be? I get kicked out because you wanted me to spend the night with you and suddenly you don't know me? I feel like u just wanted to use me. Nothing else. So much for being a decent guy. Be a man and call me."

"Okay, first off you have no idea what's going on with me, so don't judge me. Second I told you to go home 1,000 times but you wouldn't listen. Don't blame your choices on me. I'm sorry I am going through a rough time right now and just want to be alone. Thank you."

"I'm not meaning to judge you. Honestly. But don't you think I'm going through a hard time too? all this time u not saying anything has left me wondering what I did wrong. I've been trying to figure out why. Yes, it was my choice to spend the night, but going home would not have made a difference. If it had, I would have sped and gotten 10 tickets. I'm sorry, you're going through a hard time. I am, but letting me know so in the first place would have been nice - I wouldn't have called and texted so many times."

"I really like you, Z. A lot. But you need to communicate with me."

"I don't know where I am right now in my life. You shouldn't like me. I honestly have nothing to give right now. You are awesome and deserve somebody way better."

"I'm not wanting anything. Just knowing that I'm able to be there or talk is enough. Honestly, I don't think I'll find anyone as nice and as good a person as you. With me always staying indoors there's little chance of that."

"I don't want to give up, it doesn't feel right just letting everything go down the drain - not the way I feel about you. We gotta give it a chance. Even though everything is falling apart, there's still hope. I have never felt like this with anyone else."

"I just can't right now. I'm sorry."

"Give it a few weeks, months, I don't care. And if you honestly feel that everything we had was a mistake, tell me. But I know it wasn't."

This is the conversation Z and I had this evening. I'm crying and I can't stop. I like him so much and it's so painful that this is happening. I can't breathe. It's happening all over again. For the 100th time. I hope that he doesn't feel that everything was a mistake and I hope that everything doesn't go down the drain.

Please help. Someone. Anyone.

Never Too Late - Secondhand Serenade

Another Post For Tonight

Ok, I know. I wrote this evening already. BUT. I just gotta share this song with you guys!!! I am so in love with it! OMG.

Ok, ok.

Here it is.....

***********

Hear Me Now - Secondhand Serenade ft Juliet Simms

P.S. Please let me know if you guys aren't able to play the songs that I share! Thanks :)

What To Do?

Z hasn't been talking to me lately. I have no idea why. I've been calling and texting. I see him on FB all the time, so it makes me wonder why he is ignoring me. Was it something I said or did? Or what!?

It seems to me that I'm the one who's always messing up when there's a chance of a relationship. But I didn't mess this time. I didn't. And I have absolutely no idea what's going on with him - if only he would reply and talk to me. And explain. I would understand. Communication is very important to me and when someone isn't talking to me - it's hard for me to understand what's going on. Was it something I did? Was it something you did and just can't face me or talk to me?

I'll call him one more time and leave a message. Maybe he'll answer. Or call back when he receives the message.

Today was a pretty good day, otherwise. I went to the coast with my dad - sadly not to have fun, but for his work. It was a good drive, however, and good to get out of my town.

I'm not gonna write more tonight, I'm tired and kinda sad, to tell you the truth.

Something More Secondhand Serenade

Moved and Settled

Today has been the most tiring day in a long time. I moved. Well, actually got kicked out and had to move. But still. I moved! It actually feels nice to have a bigger room and my own entrance and friends right across the street. It isn't like I moved to California or to Portland - although Portland would have been nice since I'm gonna go to school there hopefully this fall.

I don't think I wrote anything on Friday. Or did? Maybe it was Saturday that I didn't write anything. Yeah, it was definitely Saturday that I didn't write. I spent Friday and Saturday mostly crying for getting kicked out. I mean, come on. I'm 20 years old and my dad didn't allow me to spend nights at my friends house. Who is a guy. Oh right, we're calling him Z. But come on!!! I'm an adult! I should be able to decide for myself if I can spend nights at a guy's house or not. Grrr!!! Yeah, I believe I've already ranted about all that. Oh well.

Hopefully, I will be able to find a job soon. Rent is $310 - which really isn't bad if you have a job. But if no job, then uh oh, better save every little penny!

Yesterday, my younger sister had a piano competition. And guess what!? She won!! I'm so proud of my sister. She has won quite a few competitions. Isn't she good?? Well you'd have to hear her play to decide for yourself if she's good or not, but take my word for it when I say she is really good. I don't know how she can do it. I don't like competing - or playing in front of judges or crowds. Makes me super nervous. On my own, I'm totally fine, but when there's more that 10 people. You will not catch me playing more than a few lines.

I miss my kitty already. I can see her every single day - because I live within a walking distance of my dad's place, but it's not the same as her sleeping on my bed and loving up to me when I talk to her. I was about to say, "Oooh I should post a picture of her.." But I already have! Well, you'll just have to see her again :D

This is a long post. I don't usually have much to say, but I guess what's with all the guy drama and moving and all that... Well... yeah.

My sister introduced me to a new song. I think I've heard bits of it before through her headphones - because she plays her music sooo loud I can hear it through my music. Anyway, I'm going to share it with you guys :) Hope you enjoy it! Have a great night. Err day - since it's already 12:23 AM. I should be sleeping. Whew it's been a long day. Ok, I really should just stop talking. I mean writing. Teehee!

Lea Michele - Battlefield

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